With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, I thought it would be the perfect time to talk about love. And being single.
There really is no escaping Valentine’s Day these days, and whether you are newly single or have been for some time, it always hits home that you don’t have ‘the one’.
As lucky as I have been in other aspects of my life, my love life is something I don’t seem to be very good at! A few years ago I split from the love of my life and his little daughter – I took it quite hard. I then unfortunately fell in love with a man, who I split up with recently, that I found out had lied to me about allsorts of things over the years – including other women. Nothing has ever hit me so hard – especially at the age of 33!
I am adapting to single life, and although I really miss that closeness of a relationship, being single is quite liberating.
Most girls, me included, start to feel that there must be something wrong with them if they haven’t got a partner. I have also had times where I feel that my life will only feel complete if I am in a relationship. However, as I have discovered being in a relationship isn’t essential, and actually can change you for the worst and be problematic if it isn’t quite right. Being single has many advantages girls!
Some girls envy the fact that you can do what you want, when you want and live your life for you.
There are so many possibilities when you are single; and not just in terms of meeting someone new when you least expect it – it could bring new opportunities for travel, work, friends and studies.
Being in a relationship doesn’t solve a thing. Something I have learnt is that although it is good to have someone to lean on, they can never solve your problems be it work stress, money worries or family trouble. Don’t expect anyone else to make you happy.
Try not to think about it too much. Although I have days where it is all I think about – probably due to my age and the worry I will never meet the right man and have a family. Remember that a boyfriend should enhance your life, not make it.
It’s so easy to forget all the problems your past relationship had when you first break up. You reminisce over the good times and miss the person you originally fell in love with, which often isn’t the same person you broke up with. We all change.
Enjoy Valentine’s Day
So, Valentine’s Day is here shortly and I know a few of my single friends and I joke about how we are single and almost mock our situations, but deep down we are all a bit sad over it. But I do think there is a complete misconception over singles in this day in age. People presume we are bitter or angry…or both! This is something that particularly annoys me – yes, I am absolutely heartbroken but that doesn’t mean I have anger or any bitterness as I loved that person for a reason and it just didn’t work. Or perhaps you feel that people think there’s something wrong with us as we haven’t managed to bag ourselves a man. But if you feel this way, please don’t! Embrace it and remember the points above.
You can still treat yourself during the week of love. If you want to spend it alone, buy yourself some yummy food and cook a nice meal for yourself and watch your favourite thing on TV. And you can still make yourself feel good by buying some nice underwear or make up (read my tips here). Even better, grab your single friends and have an evening in with girlie chats and nibbles. Maybe you could even do a ‘Secret Santa’ style gift giving session among yourselves.
If you have sad moments like I do still, try to keep busy and your mind occupied. This could be throwing yourself into work, rediscovering yourself through hobbies, taking up new studies or setting yourself some new personal goals. The time for you is now so enjoy it. If you really can’t seem to, just force yourself to have a busy schedule and always rely on your family too.
And remember, it’s just a day and those in a couple may well be wishing they were single